Monday, July 22, 2024

She Left This World a Better Place

 Read at my mother's memorial service, January 20, 2024. 

As the perceived “sickly” child of a mother who was herself sheltered by an overly-protective mother, I had a close but difficult relationship with my mom. Everyone who knew us had some sense of this. I’m afraid I pushed back at her the way she spent much of her life pushing back at my grandmother. My grandmother and my mother lost a baby brother/uncle New Year’s 1943 and a husband/father July 4th, 1944. When my mother was 8, two empty seats haunted the family table, and two holidays became reminders of sudden loss. I was often impatient with my mother’s perpetual worries and, well, mothering. The past couple of years of her decline, I’ve had time to think about it all.

What she managed was extraordinary. For all the protectiveness she experienced throughout her life, my mom cut her own path. My earliest memories of her—during her relatively brief stay-at-home period—were those of a woman who was not only maintaining a household but also always exploring her own creative interests. I believe during my older brother James’s early childhood she’d painted paintings of and created children’s books around the characters Franny Ant and her friend Danny. I can see her in our living room on Baylor Drive painting, doing needlepoint, and writing—diaries and stories and letters, sometimes in protest to politicians and television networks. She sang in local choirs, and she was involved in her churches and in local political organizing. When I turned 9, she began to work for Mutual Girl’s Club at the Concern Center across town and across the tracks from our home. 

Despite (or perhaps in part because of) being raised in the South with Black housekeepers, Mom was not only pro-Civil Rights, but she integrated my childhood. I remember spending afternoons with the girls and women down at the Concern Center’s Mutual Girl’s Club. I think of Mom as always encouraging others to pursue their interests, so it’s no surprise that I found myself doing a magic show for those young women and, much to my embarrassment, choking on the big finale.

Some of the best friends Mom ever had were the group of women she began to spend her time with at Mutual, including her lifelong friend Kathy Hall. This train of thought, though, leads me to think of the club art director, Geraldine Townsend. She was a coach and confidant to my mom during that time after my parents’ divorce. I will forever associate that early 70s celebration of Soul and Black Liberation with the women of Mutual, in particular her friend Geraldine.

Ten-year-old me teased my mother about her Stylistics, Diana Ross, and Aretha Franklin records. I believe I referred to them as “old people music.” Of course, as I grew older, a concept of soul rooted in that music became central to my own sense of what mattered most—a vision that grappled with race and relationships while hanging onto hope for a better world.

In many ways, Mom’s life was hard, and our relationship took some hard knocks. But, far beyond anything I can tally, I am thankful to her: for all her support and for passing along such an open-ended vision of community. Mom’s several marriages led to a larger and larger sense of family. She cherished the accomplishments of those around her, and she made much of any writing I ever did. She even framed emails and hung them on her walls. She always asked after everyone in our family, and she was eager to hear about each of my friends, even if she’d never met them. If you were my friend, Mom was a fan.

For all these reasons and more, I want to thank Mom for being who she was—in all her sometimes meddlesome, sometimes infuriating, but also brilliant, caring and loving, glory. Mom was a beautiful person, in every sense, and the world’s a better place for having her here with us. Some piece of that beauty, I feel certain, is carried forward by every person in this room.


Statement made by Bartlesville's Westside Community Center.  

Honoring the Life and Legacy of Mary Robinson 🕊️
It is with heavy hearts that we share the news of the passing of Mary Robinson. Mary was more than just a dedicated employee at the Westside Community Center (WCC); she was a beacon of hope and a tireless advocate for our youth.
For over 70 years, WCC has been a pillar in our community, and Mary played an instrumental role in our mission, especially in her later years under the leadership of Executive Director Morris McCorvey. Her unwavering dedication, boundless love, and selfless contributions have left a lasting mark on all of us.
Mary’s journey of service began long before her time at WCC. She worked passionately for the Mutual Girl's Club and the Bartlesville area schools, where she dedicated herself to empowering young minds. Her efforts have not only enriched the Westside Community Center but have also strengthened our entire community. Mary’s legacy is one of compassion, resilience, and an enduring spirit that will continue to inspire us all.
We remember Mary not only for her hard work and dedication but also for the warmth, kindness, and genuine care she extended to everyone she met. She was truly loved, valued, and appreciated by all who had the privilege of knowing her.
As we honor Mary’s memory, we are reminded of the profound impact one person can have on a community. Her spirit will live on through the programs she was part of, the lives she touched, and the love she spread.
Please join us in celebrating Mary Robinson’s incredible life and legacy. Share your memories, stories, and tributes in the comments below. Let’s come together to honor a remarkable woman who made our community a better place for all.
Rest in peace, Mary. Your legacy will forever remain in our hearts. 💖


Thank you to Bartlesville's Westside Community Center's Morris McCorvey and the current executive director Shavon Robles for their beautiful statements on the day of Mom's service., and thank you to Donnie Mooreland for the Juneteenth photos.

Mom's obituary with a link to donate to Westside Community Center: https://www.honoringmemoriesbartlesville.com/obituaries/mary-robinson

A direct link to Bartlesville's Westside Community Center

Juneteenth 2024, Westside Community Center, photo by Donnie Mooreland